Love the notion of courting rejection & the moat of low status - a big part of agency for me has been surrendering to the feeling of being “cringe”
It took me a while to learn that’s the whole point. We can either sit around living ordinary, status quo lives or take shots at doing the big, cringey things. Time passes either way
Lately, I felt like I couldn’t think anymore. Like the mechanism was dead. Started thinking about what changed. I began to notice that, years ago I HAD to think complexly to be not insanely bored, and Now I take in so many podcasts, videos etc. that my creative necessity is never active. By escaping boredom my creative muscle atrophied.
I am now experimenting by drastically limiting my intake. This piece is today’s allotment.
I ran into the same issue for a while, actually, and tried a similar approach -- just sort of resolved to sit around staring at the wall if I had to in order to reset my boredom/stimulation meter. A couple months of only reading longform stuff really helped!
Ah yes, with all those 472 aphorisms running through my head from those self-helpy podcasers... there's not a lot of my own thinking going on. Love your idea to cut back.
Excellent post. The bit about maximizing your surface area for luck feels very much like a positive Black Swan approach; I think Taleb had a phrase “fear missing an opportunity more than you fear embarrassment” and that has always stuck with me.
These are wonderful tactics. Yet I'm thinking about this phrase - "big, glaring edges that people might rather ignore."
Beyond making more ambitious asks and meeting more people, how do you develop a way to see those edges that other people ignore? I believe Paul Graham had a roughly related concept in "schlep blindness."
I think getting better at noticing the things you don't want to do helps; they are often the same things. Like, for a long time I ignored people saying sleep or exercise were important for mental health, because I preferred not to do them -- but unsurprisingly they turned out to be quite important. Similarly, I avoided anything that might be called networking for decades. Anything that you tend to wave off with "yeah, I probably SHOULD but" is potentially a good candidate.
Also needed is the self-belief to act on these things. If you find yourself thinking "Why hasn't anyone done this? ...There's probably a good reason" you're probably right, but if you stop there you won't find the handful of times where there isn't a good reason and you really have discovered something very new. As long as the cost to trying it is fairly low, trying it is a good idea.
That's interesting - I have a decent list of "I probably SHOULD"s at any given moment, though I've probably tricked myself into seeing them as "things I've thought about and determined won't have positive ROI".
I also find that sometimes I have an insanely productive/agentic day and blow through a dozen tasks that I've been putting off for weeks or months. I have no idea what triggers it, unfortunately.
I hadn’t thought about using lack of agency as a sign pointing to burnout, but you are so right. I’ve been dwelling in the land of burnout for the last few months, feeling unusually stuck and apathetic. I took two weeks off completely, and though it didn’t magically resolve my burnout, I came back with the sudden realization that I have the power and responsibility to solve my own problems. I’ve been fixing things ever since.
It's where you raise your inflection at the end of sentences in a way that makes it sound like statements are questions & I think is generally viewed as a sign of insecurity
Gotcha. And that speech pattern likely gives certain listeners an excuse to disregard the meaning being conveyed, no matter how wise or important the words. Thanks.
Right, I call it upspeak. It indicates uncertainty or insecurity. How you feel changes how you speak but also if you change how you speak it can change how you feel.
You are the first person I’ve seen talk about (which is so rare and valuable) the idea that almost no traits are just inherent and unfixable.
The very idea of having a ‘true’ self underneath is a surprisingly damaging concept not because it’s totally wrong, but because so many people I know just give up on changing because “that’s who they are”.
Something else important that goes along with agency is staring into the abyss as a core life skill (https://www.benkuhn.net/abyss/). You need to be able to think thoughts that you don't like to think, but are ultimately helpful.
My god. What a piece! I personally needed to hear the piece about “never to take instructions on how hard I should work from someone who hasn’t burned out before” 🫠✅💝
Great piece. I was struck, as I often am, by differences in attitudes in the UK/US. The US seems to be much more optimistic (agentic?) compared to a learnt, class-based cyniciyi. the UK. Not that should function as an excuse, just interesting to note the difference.
Love the notion of courting rejection & the moat of low status - a big part of agency for me has been surrendering to the feeling of being “cringe”
It took me a while to learn that’s the whole point. We can either sit around living ordinary, status quo lives or take shots at doing the big, cringey things. Time passes either way
Excited to read more of your writing, Cate!
This piece is so encouraging.
Lately, I felt like I couldn’t think anymore. Like the mechanism was dead. Started thinking about what changed. I began to notice that, years ago I HAD to think complexly to be not insanely bored, and Now I take in so many podcasts, videos etc. that my creative necessity is never active. By escaping boredom my creative muscle atrophied.
I am now experimenting by drastically limiting my intake. This piece is today’s allotment.
I ran into the same issue for a while, actually, and tried a similar approach -- just sort of resolved to sit around staring at the wall if I had to in order to reset my boredom/stimulation meter. A couple months of only reading longform stuff really helped!
I like the idea of content rationing
Ah yes, with all those 472 aphorisms running through my head from those self-helpy podcasers... there's not a lot of my own thinking going on. Love your idea to cut back.
Excellent post. The bit about maximizing your surface area for luck feels very much like a positive Black Swan approach; I think Taleb had a phrase “fear missing an opportunity more than you fear embarrassment” and that has always stuck with me.
ooh I like that too!
The cost of embarrassment is much less than I suppose it once was.
These are wonderful tactics. Yet I'm thinking about this phrase - "big, glaring edges that people might rather ignore."
Beyond making more ambitious asks and meeting more people, how do you develop a way to see those edges that other people ignore? I believe Paul Graham had a roughly related concept in "schlep blindness."
I think getting better at noticing the things you don't want to do helps; they are often the same things. Like, for a long time I ignored people saying sleep or exercise were important for mental health, because I preferred not to do them -- but unsurprisingly they turned out to be quite important. Similarly, I avoided anything that might be called networking for decades. Anything that you tend to wave off with "yeah, I probably SHOULD but" is potentially a good candidate.
Also needed is the self-belief to act on these things. If you find yourself thinking "Why hasn't anyone done this? ...There's probably a good reason" you're probably right, but if you stop there you won't find the handful of times where there isn't a good reason and you really have discovered something very new. As long as the cost to trying it is fairly low, trying it is a good idea.
That's interesting - I have a decent list of "I probably SHOULD"s at any given moment, though I've probably tricked myself into seeing them as "things I've thought about and determined won't have positive ROI".
I also find that sometimes I have an insanely productive/agentic day and blow through a dozen tasks that I've been putting off for weeks or months. I have no idea what triggers it, unfortunately.
It would be awesome to learn what made certain days of your agentic, Charlie. If you keep that question in mind, you may find some answers someday.
this is just bars on bars on bars thank you
I hadn’t thought about using lack of agency as a sign pointing to burnout, but you are so right. I’ve been dwelling in the land of burnout for the last few months, feeling unusually stuck and apathetic. I took two weeks off completely, and though it didn’t magically resolve my burnout, I came back with the sudden realization that I have the power and responsibility to solve my own problems. I’ve been fixing things ever since.
Incredible generosity, thank you for just sharing all this good stuff with us. It’s much appreciated here.
You mention receiving feedback about “uptalk.” What’s that?
It's where you raise your inflection at the end of sentences in a way that makes it sound like statements are questions & I think is generally viewed as a sign of insecurity
Gotcha. And that speech pattern likely gives certain listeners an excuse to disregard the meaning being conveyed, no matter how wise or important the words. Thanks.
Right, I call it upspeak. It indicates uncertainty or insecurity. How you feel changes how you speak but also if you change how you speak it can change how you feel.
You are the first person I’ve seen talk about (which is so rare and valuable) the idea that almost no traits are just inherent and unfixable.
The very idea of having a ‘true’ self underneath is a surprisingly damaging concept not because it’s totally wrong, but because so many people I know just give up on changing because “that’s who they are”.
Something else important that goes along with agency is staring into the abyss as a core life skill (https://www.benkuhn.net/abyss/). You need to be able to think thoughts that you don't like to think, but are ultimately helpful.
Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing.
Sasha being the first like made me smile - way too wholesome
Thanks for the post Cate, you're a good writer!
It is a cheat code that I get to learn this at such a young age.
Thank you Cate, I found serious value in this post.
My god. What a piece! I personally needed to hear the piece about “never to take instructions on how hard I should work from someone who hasn’t burned out before” 🫠✅💝
Great piece. I was struck, as I often am, by differences in attitudes in the UK/US. The US seems to be much more optimistic (agentic?) compared to a learnt, class-based cyniciyi. the UK. Not that should function as an excuse, just interesting to note the difference.
this is so good
Loved it, thank you for sharing Cate!!