Love the notion of courting rejection & the moat of low status - a big part of agency for me has been surrendering to the feeling of being “cringe”
It took me a while to learn that’s the whole point. We can either sit around living ordinary, status quo lives or take shots at doing the big, cringey things. Time passes either way
how amazing this web is. i read cate's post just now, saw your comment, and recognized your name as having invited me to an event two hours ago - wish i could come to the workshops
Lately, I felt like I couldn’t think anymore. Like the mechanism was dead. Started thinking about what changed. I began to notice that, years ago I HAD to think complexly to be not insanely bored, and Now I take in so many podcasts, videos etc. that my creative necessity is never active. By escaping boredom my creative muscle atrophied.
I am now experimenting by drastically limiting my intake. This piece is today’s allotment.
I ran into the same issue for a while, actually, and tried a similar approach -- just sort of resolved to sit around staring at the wall if I had to in order to reset my boredom/stimulation meter. A couple months of only reading longform stuff really helped!
Ah yes, with all those 472 aphorisms running through my head from those self-helpy podcasers... there's not a lot of my own thinking going on. Love your idea to cut back.
Excellent post. The bit about maximizing your surface area for luck feels very much like a positive Black Swan approach; I think Taleb had a phrase “fear missing an opportunity more than you fear embarrassment” and that has always stuck with me.
I recently wrote this on the concept of agency and its movement into the discourse which you might enjoy. I think your post here is one of the first I remember resonating with me
These are wonderful tactics. Yet I'm thinking about this phrase - "big, glaring edges that people might rather ignore."
Beyond making more ambitious asks and meeting more people, how do you develop a way to see those edges that other people ignore? I believe Paul Graham had a roughly related concept in "schlep blindness."
I think getting better at noticing the things you don't want to do helps; they are often the same things. Like, for a long time I ignored people saying sleep or exercise were important for mental health, because I preferred not to do them -- but unsurprisingly they turned out to be quite important. Similarly, I avoided anything that might be called networking for decades. Anything that you tend to wave off with "yeah, I probably SHOULD but" is potentially a good candidate.
Also needed is the self-belief to act on these things. If you find yourself thinking "Why hasn't anyone done this? ...There's probably a good reason" you're probably right, but if you stop there you won't find the handful of times where there isn't a good reason and you really have discovered something very new. As long as the cost to trying it is fairly low, trying it is a good idea.
That's interesting - I have a decent list of "I probably SHOULD"s at any given moment, though I've probably tricked myself into seeing them as "things I've thought about and determined won't have positive ROI".
I also find that sometimes I have an insanely productive/agentic day and blow through a dozen tasks that I've been putting off for weeks or months. I have no idea what triggers it, unfortunately.
In my career I noticed that same thing, that sometimes a single day will be more productive than any normal 3 days. Like a limited governor turned off. Wonderful feeling.
I hadn’t thought about using lack of agency as a sign pointing to burnout, but you are so right. I’ve been dwelling in the land of burnout for the last few months, feeling unusually stuck and apathetic. I took two weeks off completely, and though it didn’t magically resolve my burnout, I came back with the sudden realization that I have the power and responsibility to solve my own problems. I’ve been fixing things ever since.
Something else important that goes along with agency is staring into the abyss as a core life skill (https://www.benkuhn.net/abyss/). You need to be able to think thoughts that you don't like to think, but are ultimately helpful.
It's where you raise your inflection at the end of sentences in a way that makes it sound like statements are questions & I think is generally viewed as a sign of insecurity
Gotcha. And that speech pattern likely gives certain listeners an excuse to disregard the meaning being conveyed, no matter how wise or important the words. Thanks.
Right, I call it upspeak. It indicates uncertainty or insecurity. How you feel changes how you speak but also if you change how you speak it can change how you feel.
I actually (at least in writing) have deliberately adopted it as a really useful shorthand for level of confidence in a particular statement. Some people probably still interpret it as insecurity? We'll see if that effect is too common for it to be useful.
Phenomenal post btw, thank you so much. I've gradually realized over the past year how much further you can get by being more agentic; I wish I'd realized it much earlier.
Great piece. I was struck, as I often am, by differences in attitudes in the UK/US. The US seems to be much more optimistic (agentic?) compared to a learnt, class-based cyniciyi. the UK. Not that should function as an excuse, just interesting to note the difference.
You are the first person I’ve seen talk about (which is so rare and valuable) the idea that almost no traits are just inherent and unfixable.
The very idea of having a ‘true’ self underneath is a surprisingly damaging concept not because it’s totally wrong, but because so many people I know just give up on changing because “that’s who they are”.
My god. What a piece! I personally needed to hear the piece about “never to take instructions on how hard I should work from someone who hasn’t burned out before” 🫠✅💝
Great read. Loved the part about how everything is learnable.
I think maybe a lot of us have the expectation that failure/success ratio should not be high. I think older we get more more instances of that ratio we observe more of it we come to realize is "normally" high and yet sometimes we get somewhere and without more effort the entire effort goes to waste. I recall Einstein's famous take on this
> "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer"
Realization that "failures" (we should maybe call them experiments) are the norm and successes are rare is a learnable skill. That would certainly help to develop the attitude that everything is learnable.
I like the way you have used the word ‘agency’ to convey your ideas around how to create an edge, a differentiator for yourself - like a hack that makes you or your process of learning and growing unique from what others are doing in the game.
It makes me reflect back on what has been my agency over the 15+ years as an entrepreneur, and I realise that it’s starting new businesses, taking up projects that I have no clue about, starting up into industries that are way outside my existing line of work. All so that I am able to go deep into understanding that particular area/industry of running a business. Its curiosity that leads me.
This has been something which has more than often given me results like great money, great network, a lot of visibility, even awards and recognition.
Love the notion of courting rejection & the moat of low status - a big part of agency for me has been surrendering to the feeling of being “cringe”
It took me a while to learn that’s the whole point. We can either sit around living ordinary, status quo lives or take shots at doing the big, cringey things. Time passes either way
Excited to read more of your writing, Cate!
these were my 2 favorite sections too - oh and not working too hard!!
such a great read. thank you for sharing!
how amazing this web is. i read cate's post just now, saw your comment, and recognized your name as having invited me to an event two hours ago - wish i could come to the workshops
what a small world :)
we have a bunch of other upcoming events & workshops on the calendar if you'd like to join!
- https://www.thesfcommons.com/events
- https://lu.ma/cissy
This piece is so encouraging.
Lately, I felt like I couldn’t think anymore. Like the mechanism was dead. Started thinking about what changed. I began to notice that, years ago I HAD to think complexly to be not insanely bored, and Now I take in so many podcasts, videos etc. that my creative necessity is never active. By escaping boredom my creative muscle atrophied.
I am now experimenting by drastically limiting my intake. This piece is today’s allotment.
I ran into the same issue for a while, actually, and tried a similar approach -- just sort of resolved to sit around staring at the wall if I had to in order to reset my boredom/stimulation meter. A couple months of only reading longform stuff really helped!
I like the idea of content rationing
Ah yes, with all those 472 aphorisms running through my head from those self-helpy podcasers... there's not a lot of my own thinking going on. Love your idea to cut back.
Excellent post. The bit about maximizing your surface area for luck feels very much like a positive Black Swan approach; I think Taleb had a phrase “fear missing an opportunity more than you fear embarrassment” and that has always stuck with me.
ooh I like that too!
I recently wrote this on the concept of agency and its movement into the discourse which you might enjoy. I think your post here is one of the first I remember resonating with me
https://residualthoughts.substack.com/p/the-curious-rise-of-the-high-agency
The cost of embarrassment is much less than I suppose it once was.
These are wonderful tactics. Yet I'm thinking about this phrase - "big, glaring edges that people might rather ignore."
Beyond making more ambitious asks and meeting more people, how do you develop a way to see those edges that other people ignore? I believe Paul Graham had a roughly related concept in "schlep blindness."
I think getting better at noticing the things you don't want to do helps; they are often the same things. Like, for a long time I ignored people saying sleep or exercise were important for mental health, because I preferred not to do them -- but unsurprisingly they turned out to be quite important. Similarly, I avoided anything that might be called networking for decades. Anything that you tend to wave off with "yeah, I probably SHOULD but" is potentially a good candidate.
Also needed is the self-belief to act on these things. If you find yourself thinking "Why hasn't anyone done this? ...There's probably a good reason" you're probably right, but if you stop there you won't find the handful of times where there isn't a good reason and you really have discovered something very new. As long as the cost to trying it is fairly low, trying it is a good idea.
That's interesting - I have a decent list of "I probably SHOULD"s at any given moment, though I've probably tricked myself into seeing them as "things I've thought about and determined won't have positive ROI".
I also find that sometimes I have an insanely productive/agentic day and blow through a dozen tasks that I've been putting off for weeks or months. I have no idea what triggers it, unfortunately.
In my career I noticed that same thing, that sometimes a single day will be more productive than any normal 3 days. Like a limited governor turned off. Wonderful feeling.
It would be awesome to learn what made certain days of your agentic, Charlie. If you keep that question in mind, you may find some answers someday.
I hadn’t thought about using lack of agency as a sign pointing to burnout, but you are so right. I’ve been dwelling in the land of burnout for the last few months, feeling unusually stuck and apathetic. I took two weeks off completely, and though it didn’t magically resolve my burnout, I came back with the sudden realization that I have the power and responsibility to solve my own problems. I’ve been fixing things ever since.
this is just bars on bars on bars thank you
Something else important that goes along with agency is staring into the abyss as a core life skill (https://www.benkuhn.net/abyss/). You need to be able to think thoughts that you don't like to think, but are ultimately helpful.
Incredible generosity, thank you for just sharing all this good stuff with us. It’s much appreciated here.
You mention receiving feedback about “uptalk.” What’s that?
It's where you raise your inflection at the end of sentences in a way that makes it sound like statements are questions & I think is generally viewed as a sign of insecurity
Gotcha. And that speech pattern likely gives certain listeners an excuse to disregard the meaning being conveyed, no matter how wise or important the words. Thanks.
Right, I call it upspeak. It indicates uncertainty or insecurity. How you feel changes how you speak but also if you change how you speak it can change how you feel.
I actually (at least in writing) have deliberately adopted it as a really useful shorthand for level of confidence in a particular statement. Some people probably still interpret it as insecurity? We'll see if that effect is too common for it to be useful.
Phenomenal post btw, thank you so much. I've gradually realized over the past year how much further you can get by being more agentic; I wish I'd realized it much earlier.
It is a cheat code that I get to learn this at such a young age.
Thank you Cate, I found serious value in this post.
Great piece. I was struck, as I often am, by differences in attitudes in the UK/US. The US seems to be much more optimistic (agentic?) compared to a learnt, class-based cyniciyi. the UK. Not that should function as an excuse, just interesting to note the difference.
You are the first person I’ve seen talk about (which is so rare and valuable) the idea that almost no traits are just inherent and unfixable.
The very idea of having a ‘true’ self underneath is a surprisingly damaging concept not because it’s totally wrong, but because so many people I know just give up on changing because “that’s who they are”.
My god. What a piece! I personally needed to hear the piece about “never to take instructions on how hard I should work from someone who hasn’t burned out before” 🫠✅💝
Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing.
Sasha being the first like made me smile - way too wholesome
Thanks for the post Cate, you're a good writer!
Great read. Loved the part about how everything is learnable.
I think maybe a lot of us have the expectation that failure/success ratio should not be high. I think older we get more more instances of that ratio we observe more of it we come to realize is "normally" high and yet sometimes we get somewhere and without more effort the entire effort goes to waste. I recall Einstein's famous take on this
> "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer"
Realization that "failures" (we should maybe call them experiments) are the norm and successes are rare is a learnable skill. That would certainly help to develop the attitude that everything is learnable.
I like the way you have used the word ‘agency’ to convey your ideas around how to create an edge, a differentiator for yourself - like a hack that makes you or your process of learning and growing unique from what others are doing in the game.
It makes me reflect back on what has been my agency over the 15+ years as an entrepreneur, and I realise that it’s starting new businesses, taking up projects that I have no clue about, starting up into industries that are way outside my existing line of work. All so that I am able to go deep into understanding that particular area/industry of running a business. Its curiosity that leads me.
This has been something which has more than often given me results like great money, great network, a lot of visibility, even awards and recognition.
Building businesses has been my agency